An Important Announcement!

For many years, I’ve known that when I got engaged, I was going to blog about it.

That time has come.

Because I’m engaged!

To the most wonderful, incredible woman in the world.

Her name is Julia.

Our story begins back in 2019 or 2020. She found my blog and appreciated the content. She commented on a post. She even sent me an email.

Now, it would be cool if that’s where the romance began. But it didn’t.

I barely took notice of her at the time. I remember getting the email. I responded to her. And that was that.

Six months later, she began a relationship with someone else. A wonderful, Godly man. A man who I never had the privilege of meeting or knowing. Friendship turned into love. Love turned into romance. Romance turned into marriage. Her dreams had come true.

Three months later, the dream turned into a nightmare.

Her beloved husband contracted Covid. He was a strong, healthy man; a construction worker who worked with his hands. Covid didn’t care. It left him gasping for breath in an ICU ward. For three agonizing weeks.

And then it was all over. Dylan went to be with Jesus. Julia was left to pick up the pieces.

And that’s when I became aware of her existence. Because I had mutual friends who had witnessed their romance and cheered them on. I still remember when the message came through on the Messenger chat for our singles group: “Oh Dylan, no!”

It was November, 2021.

I watched as our mutual friends posted tributes to Dylan on Facebook. I began to see Julia sharing her journey of widowhood. But more than just widowhood. A journey of faith. A faith shaken by the death of the man she loved more than anything in this world.

A journey that was remarkably like my own, although very different.

A few months later, we became Facebook friends. Somewhere along the line we followed each other on Instagram.

And I learned so much.

I got a peek into the life of a young widow. I learned what it was like for someone to grieve the death of their spouse at far too young an age. I learned how to support someone going through grief—that presence is the most important thing you can give to a grieving friend. Not words. For sure not platitudes. Just being. Being with them.

And I found a remarkable amount of resonance with my own journey. I realized that healing from abuse actually includes a significant amount of grieving. Instead of grieving the loss of a spouse, I grieved years of my life that had been lost. Lost because I was trapped in isolation, brainwashed into believing that I was one of the only people on the planet who was following Jesus correctly, and I needed to tell everyone else how to do it right.

Yeah, healing from abuse includes a lot of grieving.

As time went along, I grew to deeply appreciate this lady’s words. She shared openly and honestly about her life and her journey. Not in a grotesque, overshared way. But it was raw and real and honest and vulnerable and it resonated with my heart.

And that’s how it went for several years.

Until my job shifted.

First was when the COO sat me down and asked if I wanted to shift from supervising the Maryland drivers to handling safety and compliance for all the drivers in the company.

The second shift came a year later when my company acquired another company in the South and opened three new locations. Then we tripled the size of our Georgia driver team without adding any additional management personnel.

That’s when I was asked to go to Georgia to help out with the team there.

I ended up spending five workweeks in Georgia last year.

But something else had happened around that time, too. You see, I had had my eye on Julia for a while, but I had never considered her very seriously. Until, somewhere around the beginning of July, I felt a little internal nudge: “Hey, maybe pay a little more attention to Julia.”

I was like: “Okay!”

A couple weeks went by. It was July 16th when I shared a post by the Babylon Bee in my Instagram stories. Please note that I don’t often share the Babylon Bee because I honestly find a significant chunk of their content offensive. But this was genuinely funny.

And Julia thought so too—and told me so.

So I decided to engage more than I would have in the past. We ended up in a conversation in our Instagram messages.

Somewhere along the line, I realized: “Wait, you live in Georgia, don’t you?”

She did.

And I was in Georgia too.

We kept chatting back and forth throughout the week. Towards the end of the week, she mentioned that her singles group was meeting up on Sunday. Would I like to come?

Unfortunately, I was going to be back in Maryland by the weekend. But a little voice in the back of my brain said: “I think maybe she wants to meet up!”

I spent the next week in Maryland, and the following week I was back in Georgia.

I didn’t want to be too forward, so I didn’t immediately let her know I was back down again. But meanwhile, our online conversation had picked up. On Tuesday, I sent her the first voice message—and we spent the rest of the day messaging back and forth. Long messages. I joked that we could start a podcast. It wasn’t a romantic conversation—we were just talking about community and connection. But we were both very much engaged in the conversation.

And then, in my last message that evening, I mentioned that I was in Georgia again. I figured that maybe, the following day, I would suggest a meetup.

She responded the next morning: “Well, how cool is it that you’re back in Georgia?! Maybe we could meet up sometime.”

My heart fluttered a bit. Apparently I wasn’t the only one interested in meeting up!

But I only had two more evenings in Georgia. Would she want to meet up on such short notice?

We had dinner together the following evening. Just friends. No pressure, no expectations. Just two people meeting up and chatting.

And chatting.

For over three hours.

By the time we said goodbye that evening, I knew I didn’t want this to be the last time I saw her.

I already knew that I would be back down again the following week. So I went ahead and booked my airline ticket for Sunday evening instead of Monday morning—which I preferred to do anyway for timing purposes at work.

Then I asked her out on an official date.

She said yes!

Which was a relief because, after all, neither of us had actually made any romantic comments at this point. There was always the risk that she just wanted to be friends. But I was thrilled to know that she, too, was interested in more.

We met for dinner and, again, talked for hours. There was definitely chemistry between us. But more than just chemistry. It was a deep connection that went way beyond physical attraction and desire.

You see, as a survivor of abuse, one of the most important things to me is safety: feeling safe with my romantic partner.

And the very first time I met Julia, I realized that I had never before felt so safe with someone I’d dated.

I’m just here to report, six months later, that that hasn’t changed.

And beyond that, my relationship with Jesus is the most important thing to me. It’s at the very core of who I am, and one of my deepest desires was to be with someone who deeply loved Jesus and was passionate about him. Someone who loved talking about him, who I could pray with, and bond over the most important thing to me in all the world.

And it was already so apparent that she felt the exact same way.

As we got ready to part that Sunday evening, I asked her if she would like to have another date on Thursday. She said yes!

There was a catch: I knew that, after that week, I had no upcoming trips to Georgia. This would be my last chance to see her for the foreseeable future. I would be back at some point, but only God knew exactly when.

So I prepared to ask a special question.

It was only our second official date, but I already knew that we had something real. And so, as we sat by the Atlanta Beltline and chatted, I finally turned to her and asked her: “Will you be my girlfriend?”

She said yes!

I returned to Maryland in a state of bliss.

And thus began a relationship that has had God’s fingerprints all over it since the beginning. A relationship where we have seen God guiding us over and over in ways we didn’t even think to ask for.

It didn’t take me long to know that this was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

But how to propose?

A couple months into our relationship, I asked her how she would prefer a proposal: something out of the clear blue sky, or something she could see coming? She said she preferred “clear blue sky”.

A few weeks later it hit me: what better way to have it come out of the clear blue sky than if the ring was delivered by a drone?

I enlisted the help of her brother-in-law, and a couple days after Christmas, we were back, sitting by the lake where we had discussed the potential proposal. That’s when he flew the ring to us with his drone and delivered it. I got down on one knee and asked her to marry me.

She said yes!

So, for the first time, at age 37, I’m spending Valentine’s Day with a significant other.

A woman who I love more with each passing day.

A woman who represents Jesus so beautifully and incredibly.

A woman who loves me passionately—and loves Jesus even more.

A woman who has already helped to deepen my relationship with God, and continues to do so.

A woman who shares my heart and my goals for life.

The sort of woman who I figured was out of reach—too good to hope for.

And as we head towards our August wedding date, we both feel incredibly grateful to God.

Not just for our relationship, as wonderful as it is, but for his incredible guidance, provision, and grace on our tumultuous journeys.

Because we wouldn’t be here without his help.

I can’t thank God enough for this wonderful lady. I feel incredibly lucky—and that’s too wimpy a word to describe it. “Blessed” sounds too cliché and, again, too wimpy… so maybe someday I’ll find a more powerful word.

Anyway, whatever the appropriate label is, I’m blown away.

I love you, Julia! Happy Valentine’s Day!

 

 

Share This Page!